A repost from my oldie blog. Don't look it up, it's old, full of past life crap. I am happy that things have changed so much since then, for the better! But this post stay true up until this day. This is the reason why I keep giving people so many chances no matter what. Because life is unpredictable. A letter to a good friend, high school would never be the same if you weren't there, so cheers mate! :)
I knew you since I was 14 or 15 maybe. We spent a year in junior high together, then we suddenly found ourselves in a new school, knowing no one else in the class but each other. So we spent the first few months being inseparable. We were so close that everyone else wondered if we were dating. We weren’t. But THAT very thought did cross our minds, only never at the right timing. When you started showing signs of affection toward me, I thought you were joking around and I brushed you off. You’ve always been a playful person. Then I fell for you, but you were already moving on. And it kept going like this for a while until we both gave up. Sometimes I wondered what would’ve happened if we had ended up together.
I remember one day pulling your sleeve up and asked you about the scars on your arm. I remember the evening when you finally told me what the scars are about. I remember crying when you told me you had to leave school to go into rehab. I remember you kissing my cheeks softly and asked me to stop crying because you wouldn’t be gone long.
As time passed, we found ourselves drifting away from each other. You changed, I changed too. Up to the point when I called you to wish you a happy birthday and found myself offended because you seemed like you didn’t want to talk to me. I swore to myself never to wish you a happy birthday again. I remembered your birthday every year, but I refused to call you. Pride is a dangerous thing to own. The last time I talked to you, I asked you what the hell is wrong with you, treating me like I’m a stranger that you felt reluctant to talk to, then I crossed you off my friends list and refused to talk to you again. You invited me to your wedding through email, and again my pride kept me from going to your wedding. I felt that I deserved a proper wedding invitation instead of an email. Now I’ll never get a chance to see you again.
I’m sorry for not being more understanding and less selfish. And I’m sorry that you caught that sickness, if only you never touched any of those damn stuff. I will always remember all the good memories we’ve shared together. Goodbye, mate.